I always say that
dating websites is the best tool for introverts to meet people; you
don’t have to go out, you can take your time to answer and you have
a lot more options compare to in person, yet there are still many
introvert men who struggle with dating websites and doesn’t have a
clue about how to talk to women. I am going to be real honest, I am
a fairly attractive woman and I used to get my fair amount of
messages on dating websites but most of the messages I got was from
men I didn’t like at all, whether I thought they weren’t
attractive enough or maybe I saw something suspicious in their
profile.
I used Ok Cupid when
I was single for around 2 years, I would get around 3-4 messages per
week but most weeks I won’t even respond to any of them. In my two
years I responded to around only 6 guys and from those 6 only dated 2 in
person and nothing happened with any of them because I ended up
meeting my boyfriend on Facebook. Even though I didn’t meet my
boyfriend on a dating website, I still recommend everyone to use them because it is the
easiest and most convenient way to meet people.
Now I am going to
tell you what those 6 guys I responded did to get my attention: One
of the reasons I didn’t respond to other guys was because I didn’t
find them attractive and those 6 guys didn’t exactly look like Brad
Pitt but they had something I liked, whether it was their eyes or
their smile, there was something about them that caught my eye but
being attractive wasn’t the only reason and it wasn’t also the
most important; the most important reason I replied to them was
because they engaged me in a conversation.
I am very bad at
starting conversations so I need to be the man the one who talks to
me first. Those guys took time to read my profile and asked me
questions about it, also we had things in common so that made it even
better. You don’t have to write a big paragraph or make an
interrogatory, you can start off with something small like for
example: “I read on your profile that you like sci-fi movies. Me
too! What are some of your favorites? Mine are……, What do you
think about this new movie coming up?” Those kind of questions got
my attention because they were asking me about something I like and I
love to talk to people about things I like.
Still one day of
messaging is not enough to ask for a date, you need to make the
woman feel comfortable enough, with everything that is happening in
the world, women have to be very careful especially when meeting
people online, we need first to get to know the person and build some
trust before accepting an invitation to go out with them.
This is my
suggestion: Exchange messages through the dating websites for two
days, after that ask her for her phone number so you can text her
there or call her if you want. Chat with her everyday for at least
one week before asking them out. The first date should be something
simple, going out to eat somewhere nice, drink a coffee or watch a movie.
If you believe you
are doing everything right and you are still not getting replies you
might be sending messages to the wrong women. Its important to not go
out of your league or you will only get disappointed, if you are
average looking you shouldn’t be sending messages to women who are
9 and 10, and if you are below average then that is worse, if you
keep your expectations low, it would be less likely you will get
disappointed.
Photo: Stock
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